If someone was to ask you, 'what do you really want?' 'what is your deepest desire?' I wonder what you would say? Many of us would, I think, find that question very hard to answer. We can, of course, want and desire things at many different levels. We can want it to be good weather at the weekend; we can want our business to do well; we can desperately want a sick relative to get better; we can want our children or grandchildren to do well at school. But what are our deepest desires?
In our Gospel reading, Jesus asks Bartimaeus: 'what do you want?' 'What do you want me to do for you?' We might be forgiven for thinking this a rather obvious question, even a silly question, in the circumstances. Bartimaeus is a blind man so it's not hard to guess what he wants and sure enough he answers Jesus 'I want to see again'
But this story also operates at a deeper level. It's not only about physical sight but also about spiritual sight. Bartimaeus at least begins to see Jesus truly and then to follow him. At the end of the story we're told: 'he regained his sight and followed Jesus along the way.' This doesn't just mean that Bartimaeus followed Jesus along the road. 'The way' was the term the early Christians used when talking about Christian faith and discipleship. Bartimaeus is not simply one of the many people healed by Jesus, he also becomes a follower, a disciple of Jesus. It's interesting to note that this is probably why we know his name. Most of the men and women who are healed by Jesus in the Gospels are unnamed characters; we know Bartimaeus' name probably because he became one of the members of the early Christian community.
Mark holds up this blind beggar, Bartimaeus, as a kind of role model for his readers, a role model for us. Looking closely at the story of Bartimaeus can help us think about what we really want from God, what it means to see and to follow Jesus along the way.
Bartimaeus is sitting by the dusty roadside on the outskirts of Jericho. No doubt Bartimaeus regularly sat here to beg. But one day he hears that Jesus of Nazareth is passing by. He must have heard about this Jesus, his powerful teaching and his miraculous healings so he wonders to himself 'Maybe this Jesus can do something for me?' Jesus will soon leave Jericho, so he needs to make the most of this opportunity; he doesn't want this chance for healing to slip away. So he shouts out 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me' It seems Bartimaeus already has the beginning of faith as he addresses Jesus with the royal, Messianic title 'Son of David.'
'Do shut up'; others slap him down: 'stop being a nuisance, stop being an embarrassment.' But blind Bartimaeus takes no notice and simply cries the louder 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me.' How often we are deterred from seeking after God and his grace by the sceptical or negative reactions of those around us. Not Bartimaeus. He is persistent in seeking, indeed shouting, for Jesus' attention, even if in doing so he makes a fool of himself in the eyes of others.
All this commotion, of course, catches Jesus' attention. 'Call him here.' 'Go on' others prod him, 'he's calling you.' So, we're told, Bartimaeus 'throwing off his cloak, sprang up and came to Jesus.' That vivid detail of him throwing off his cloak and springing up conveys the eagerness with which Bartimaeus comes to Jesus. His cloak would have been his most prized, perhaps his only, possession. He may have had it round his shoulders or he may have had it spread out on the ground before him on which he would collect his alms, therefore it was an important part of his livelihood as a beggar. But Bartimaeus throws aside his cloak as he comes to Jesus.
Perhaps there is something for us to ponder here. Do we have any 'cloak' which holds us back from following Jesus and growing in faith? Something which we hide behind, or something which weighs us down, something which prevents us from eagerly responding to Jesus calling us? It's always easier to stay with what is familiar; to go on thinking, believing, doing what feels comfortable, but sometimes this might mean we miss out on opportunities to grow in God's grace.
Bartimaeus is rewarded for his courage and single-mindedness. As he stands before Jesus, Jesus asks him 'what do you want me to do for you?' It's a loaded question, a question designed to bring to the surface Bartimaeus' deepest desires. It's also the very same question which we heard in our gospel reading last Sunday in the previous passage of Mark chapter 10 when James and John come to Jesus with a request. He asks them 'what do you want me to do for you?' and they answer that they want to be able to sit one at his right hand and one at his left when he reigns in glory. What a devastating contrast with Bartimaeus, who answers simply 'My teacher, I want to see again.' James and John ask for privilege, status and self-importance; although they have begun to understand who Jesus is, they do not understand his way of love and service In this, they are spiritually blind. But Bartimaeus, the blind man, asks to be able to see. It seems that Mark has deliberately put these two passages together to draw out this contrast.
Of course, Bartimaeus wants physically to see again, to recover his sight, and this is indeed what happens. But there is also the suggestion that Bartimaeus wants to see spiritually too; the eagerness with which he comes to Jesus, his willingness to leave everything behind and his subsequent following of Jesus 'along the way' all point to his deep desire to engage with Jesus and respond wholeheartedly to him.
So what about us? What do we want God to do for us? Perhaps in all of us, deep down, there is a desire to see straight, to see truly both God and ourselves, to see and know our own need, and the riches of God's love and healing. But this desire may be so deeply buried and covered over by other desires that we may be hardly aware of it. Or perhaps we may be genuinely uncertain about what we really want from God. Whatever we may think or feel about this question, a good place to start is to pray. And here too we can learn from the story of blind Bartimaeus.
Bartimaeus cries out persistently, 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me' This is one of the passages which has inspired the Jesus Prayer of the Eastern Orthodox churches, a prayer which has been used by countless Christians down the centuries, increasingly now by Christians in other denominations too. The prayer is simple: 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.' The focus on me as a 'sinner' may sound rather negative to our contemporary ears, but this term is not intended to make us feel wretched, rather the prayer simply acknowledges our need of God's grace in Christ and expresses the yearning to receive that grace from him. Traditionally the Jesus Prayer is said slowly and repetitively and can lead us to a stilling of our thoughts and an openness to God's presence. It also helps when our mind wanders; we then repeat the Jesus Prayer again and it brings us back into focus. Just as blind Bartimaeus didn't give up crying out to Jesus, despite the pressure from those around him to do so, in the same way we need to be persistent in prayer and not give up even when we are distracted.
Alongside prayer, reading the Bible is another way to help us become more aware of our spiritual desires and our need of God. Today, the last Sunday in October is also Bible Sunday when we are encouraged to think about the importance of reading, studying and meditating on the Bible. There are many different ways of reading the Bible, but one method, which we do week by week in our lectio divina group is to read a short passage slowly and aloud several times, noticing any phrases that stand out to us and pondering those phrases, letting them become part of us, and using them to help us pray. The story of blind Bartimaeus lends itself to this kind of meditative reading.
So I leave you with the encouragement to try reading this passage again on your own at home, listening to what God's Spirit may want to say to you. You may be struck by the earnest cry of blind Bartimaeus for mercy and use that, or the Jesus Prayer, to pray. You may be led to reflect on any 'cloak' you may hide under or which hinders you from taking steps forward in faith. You may want to ponder Jesus' question 'what do you want me to do for you?' or you may want to ask God to help you to see more clearly in a spiritual sense. Or God may speak to you in a different way through this passage.
May we all be open to God's grace working in our hearts and lives and take a step forward, as Bartimaeus did, along the way with Jesus.
Helen Marshall